I’m already happy .. So why get married?

After you graduate & start working, everyone around you seem to have no subject to discuss or talk to you about except marriage. You are settled, you have a job & can afford opening a new house, so what’s stopping you?

I believe that you need to have a reason for any decision you make in life, especially when it comes to life-changing decisions. So I asked: I’m already happy .. why get married?
No matter how many people I have asked, I always tend to have the same answer: this is life you know, you get married, have kids, & get on with your new life.

I tried to make sense of that answer but I couldn’t. I tried to picture my life like that but I struggled. Marriage should have a reason that’s more sacred. One’s life must matter beyond bringing dozen of kids & paying the bills. Marriage should mean more than that.

I struggled to find a meaningful answer for long, & I was happy with the road I have chosen in my life. I was driving there independently with nothing to worry about, passing by Europe, the US, & even Australia. That’s why I was reluctant to change & so I asked again: why get married?

After a while I came to realise that I was looking at life from a single angle. Life is more than a single road. Life is a journey. A journey with multiple roads that should take you eventually towards your goals, dreams & achievements. Being single is one road & getting married is a whole another road. The trick is knowing your goals first & then you will be able to know when you need to switch roads.
You don’t move on to another road unless you’ve achieved what you want in that first road. If you moved on too fast you will always be hooked to that old road & you would want to go back at one point or another in your life. Similarly, if you stayed in the same road for too long to the point where you no longer achieve any more goals you will be like running on a treadmill, getting tired but without really getting anywhere.

I was happy in my single life, no doubt about that. But after a while I revisited my goals & dreams & discovered a whole new untapped world. I discovered that my dreams wouldn’t mean as much if I have followed them alone in that old road. Something was definitely missing. In a nutshell, don’t get married for the sake of marriage or for the sake of your society. Revisit your goals & find your reasons.

I’m getting married in less than 2 months, & I have never been this happy. Thanks to the one and only. Thanks to Ghadeer

Muhtada
12/11/2014

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